still have that feeling…

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i know it’s stupid, but i still have that feeling that i’m going to be seeing jalia, and not jamin. i’m not going to be disappointed either way…it’s just that i have never felt fully that this baby is a boy.

i remember when becca found out about addie being a girl, after they’d thought she was a boy. i remember feeling jealous for one second, but honestly, i felt that if josiah had turned out to be a girl, i’d be soooooo sad. because i’d already fallen in love with my second son. strange as it seems, i haven’t had that with jamin. i mean, i’ve fallen in love with this baby, but it’s not been like my third son…

i really don’t know how to explain it…i just wonder if my instinct is right, and this baby is a girl.

i guess we’ll know soon, huh?!

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