My seven and five year old kids fight over the silliest things…and they try to pull me into their battles at the worst times.
They expect me to be super-hero-mom and save the day. It doesn’t matter if I’m on the phone, finishing an email, taking hot food out of the oven, driving, reading, making a grocery list, taking a shower or sitting on the toilet. Every conflict is an emergency and they think they need me to solve it.
A serious crisis to my seven and five year old is when brother won’t play house with sister, or sister won’t give back a toy, or they both want to be the same super-hero. When one of them doesn’t get their way, they will stomp, shout, and threaten each other.
I tend to ignore these little life battles and I get pretty grumpy when they come to me about their disagreements. I don’t want to be bothered over such craziness. I think I have better things to do. It’s downright frustrating when my hormones are out of whack and my kids drag me into their mess.
In moments of complete exhaustion I have wanted to tell them to shut up and stop fighting. I don’t say the words but I do shut them up. I have separated them and sent them to their rooms with door shut. I have advised them to walk away from each other instead of teaching them to work it out. I have taken sides to just get them to move on. I have yelled at them for yelling at each other.
[clickToTweet tweet=”In moments of complete exhaustion I have wanted to tell them to shut up and stop fighting. #imperfectmom” quote=”In moments of complete exhaustion I have wanted to tell them to shut up and stop fighting. “]
Oh my goodness. I want to do parenting different. Here are some things I’m learning. I know it’s hard Moms, but what we do matters. They need us to be the light and show them the way.
I’m sure glad God doesn’t treat us this way. As a matter of fact God wants us to come to Him about everything and seek His guidance. He is our Father that cares about every detail in our life and He loves to comfort us. There is nothing too small or too big that God doesn’t want to help us with.
I feel safe, cared for, and valued because God never fails to show up.
[clickToTweet tweet=”I feel safe, cared for, and valued because God never fails to show up. #imperfectmom” quote=”I feel safe, cared for, and valued because God never fails to show up. “]
Moms, God calls us to show up for our children when they are in distress. We are created to nurture, teach, counsel, support, and direct them to take the right path. It’s in the little silly fights our kids get in that we can teach them to share, problem solve, compromise, and walk in grace.
Kids fight because they struggle with selfishness and competition. They are sinners just like you and me. Jesus came for the sinners. He is the Good Shepherd. We can be good shepherds too over our little herd.
Psalm 23 NIV
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
How should we respond to our kids when they tattle?
1. Teach Them – Realize that they need us to teach them to communicate and problem solve.
2. Be Patient – Accept that 90% of our time is going to be managing conflict. The more we teach them, the less they will need us.
3. Be Kind – It’s important to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest and don’t over commit. Our job is exhausting and takes patience.
4. Give Comfort – Siblings are so hard on each other. Show them grace in how you respond.
5. Be a Role Model – Teach them healthy ways to handle anger, frustration, and sadness. My children act just like me. I struggle with anger and so does my son. I walk away in frustration instead of talking it out and so does my daughter. I’m a work in progress and I bet I’m not the only one.
6. Communicate Healthy Solutions – Educate yourself on different parenting approaches.
7. Don’t Judge or Blame – Try not to take sides, don’t minimize feelings, or use words that shame.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Teach them healthy ways to handle anger, frustration, and sadness. #imperfectmom” quote=”Teach them healthy ways to handle anger, frustration, and sadness. “]
What would you add to this list? Share with us in the comment section!
To Learn More About Me And To Connect
About Me On My Blog Page, About My Blog or Connect With Me On Facebook at Christian Mom Blog Support Group, God Calm My Anxious Heart Group, God’s News Feed Group & Me Too Moments Community Mom Page and You Can Find Me On Pinterest. Here are a couple of my many parenting posts: God Believes in You and My Little Girl the Scientist.
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