well the ultrasound showed absolutely nothing. i’m pretty sure the majority of things were lost yesterday, as it was the most painful day with the most bleeding and clots…the dr still had me take the blood test to make sure my numbers are going down like they should be. if not, i’ll have to get a d&c, but we’re hoping that i can finish on my own.
i still don’t know what to feel…i thought for sure seeing the u/s would help bring closure, but i still don’t feel i can cry it all out yet. i don’t know what i’m waiting for. please pray for me, as i don’t want to keep this in me and not let it be real.
he said i can “try” again after a full cycle. he said if i wanted, i could count this is a cycle, but i’m not going to. he also said my body is very healthy, and it’s good that it expelled this because it means my body is working and knows what’s going on. he is assuming it was an empty sac and that no embryo ever made it in there. i’m not sure what i think about that…in a way it makes me feel better knowing that no real life was lost. in another it makes me feel horrible about mourning over nothing. i don’t really know what i’m supposed to feel.
please keep praying for me. i think i’m still in a state of shock or denial of some sort. thank you for your prayers and support.