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Relationships Trump Rules :: Parenting Tip Number Seventeen


If we are going to have any kind of influence over our children, having a relationship with them is vital. This is true at any age.

We need to invest in them.
We need to spend time with them.
We need to listen to them.
We need have them work along side of us.
We need to read God’s Word with them.
We need to pray with them, and for them.
We need to delight in them.

This means that our hobbies, friendships, Facebook time, 😉 house cleaning, and even our ministries, all take a back seat to our relationship with our children. Only God and our husband come before them.

This does not mean that we need to be their “buddy” and let them get away with sin. (Friendship with our children should definitely come later, as they reach adulthood.)
We do our children a huge disservice if we do not help them to overcome their sins, and even childish immaturity.

However, the vast majority of our time with them should be spent interacting with them in the ways I mentioned in the first paragraph.

On a side note, yet still very related; have you ever been having a bad day and then someone smiles at you, with genuine joy to see you, and your whole day is so much brighter? We should make a habit of smiling at our children on a regular basis. They should see us smiling a lot more than they should see us frowning. 😀

Over the years I have noticed that bitter, angry parents usually have bitter, angry children, while thankful, joyful parents usually have thankful, joyful children.

If we go around with a chip on our shoulder, always upset with someone and always complaining about something, we can expect that our children will act the same way.

When we have a thankful, joyful, forgiving, gentle spirit, we are much more pleasant to live with, and our children will find it much easier to develop this kind of spirit, too. And what is even more important, when we have this kind attitude, we honor God.

Someone made a FB challenge awhile back to go 24 hours without complaining, or saying anything negative. I don’t consider myself to be much of a complainer, so I thought it would be a fairly easy challenge. It was much harder than I thought it would be, but a really good exercise to help me realize that I complain more often than I thought.

Your attitude and countenance will affect how much time your children want to spend with you. No one wants to be around someone who’s grumpy and negative all the time. In contrast, one who is full of Christ’s love and joy is a blessing to be around!




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  • WE’RE PREGNANT!

    Well, it’s happened. Not because of expensive fertility drugs. We haven?t taken any since February. No, it happened because we gave this desire totally over to God and we prayed for his blessing and miracle like never before. It happened because all of you, our beloved friends and family never stopped praying and continued to believe the Lord would bless us.

    Yes, WE ARE PREGNANT! We are due either in January or February, 2-7 weeks along. We?re both thrilled, overjoyed, thankful and in shock. 🙂

    I?m already feeling major morning sickness. I?m having trouble sleeping (partly from the excitement) and I?m peeing more than ever!

    We are getting the baby room in order, which until now, though it?s had that title, has doubled as a junk room. ;)I?m already getting signed up on baby registries, and many friends want to take me baby shopping. As you probably know, we have the names picked out already: Jeremiah Thomas or Jalia Annemarie. Even so, you can vote in our poll so we can know how people feel about all the names we?re choosing for our future children.

    In case you?re curious, our colors are mint green and lavender. The room theme is lambs, pastel Baby Snoopy and Precious Moments. As soon as it?s mainly decorated we?ll of course have pictures for you to see.

    I can?t begin to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers and your love for us. I know this baby will be so very loved with real aunts and uncles and surrogate aunts and uncles as well!!!

    Ok, here?s what had happened to tip me off. First of all, I have been feeling sick to my stomach for quite a while (since about may 8). Then I started getting breast tenderness. This past Saturday I wrote five or six new lullabies for my lullaby album, without feeling melancholy or depressed (not feeling I?d never sing these songs to my children), actually feeling happy. I was already thinking, hmmmm maybe it?s true. Then I got some disturbing news from a friend, and it sealed my decision to take a pregnancy test and find out if I was right!

    I held my pee as long as I could, and awoke at 4 am, needing to go badly. This is it! I thought. I was looking to the left while I peed thinking it won?t be positive?then I put the stick down and said, yes, I AM pregnant, I know it. In like five seconds, it went positive!!!!!! I had to run and tell Jerry and he was so shocked and happy! I took a second positive test about half an hour later, then called my mom and dad, who were surprised and happy.

    I tried to get back to sleep, but was pretty unsuccessful. I tossed and turned over and over. One of the songs I wrote on Saturday played in my mind and heart?.here are a few of the lyrics: Thank You, Lord, for this child from You

    A perfect gift from Heaven, a blessed dream come true

    You alone know how very long I prayed

    For this precious miracle, and to You I give the praise

    A life, a precious life, formed by Your hands

    A heart, a tiny heart, made from pure love

    You gave him to me, as I prayed that you would

    Now I commit him unto You, Lord; once again, he?s in Your hands

    At nine, I called my dr?s office and asked for a blood test ordered.in between then and the actual blood test, I took another positive urine test (I just had to be sure!). the blood test was at eleven, and they had to stick me three times to find a vein. L and then we didn?t find out until 550 that yes, it is indeed absolutely positive!!!

    So when I got home I called lots of people. If you weren?t called, please don?t be offended. Either we don?t have your number or we figured it would be too late to call you, as I was sooo tired after my last phonecall after 10. I was just exhausted.

    Today I?m home from work recovering from my stressful, though wonderful day yesterday. I feel horrible ? sick, tired and miserable. But still oh-so-happy!

    here are the lyrics that describe exactly what I?m feeling (from a Christmas soundtrack called Child of the Promise): When The Dream Never Dies

    (Michael Omartian & Stormie Omartian)

    Deep in my heart was an ember of longing

    Kept warm by the flame of desire

    A dream held in secret I yearned to hold openly

    Fanned by my hope into fire

    It burned to such heat I could touch it no more

    So I put it away and then closed up the door

    Forever extinguishing all that would keep it alive

    But the dream never died

    The Lord has done this for me

    He has looked on me kindly

    He has heard all my cries

    He has given me back what I laid at His feet

    It must be God

    When the dream never dies

    Isn’t it just like the Lord to invite me

    To put all my dreams in His hands

    Forever releasing the grip that once held them

    Forever surrending my plans

    And then when He’s certain it’s not born of men

    He calls for the fire to rekindle again

    And He asks me to know in my heart

    What’s not seen with my eyes

    So the dream never dies

    The Lord has done this for me

    He has looked on me kindly

    He has heard all my cries

    He has given me back what I laid at his feet

    It must be God

    When the dream never dies

    It must be God

    When the dream never dies

    Thanks again, friends and family, for all your prayers and support. Please continue to pray for us, that this pregnancy will be normal, that our baby will be healthy and that all goes well.

    Love to you all,

    Jenn (mama!) and Jerry (papa!) and our beloved baby 🙂

    Dear Baby,

    This is my first gift to you. This journal is to keep a record of memories of this pregnancy for you. I have been working on it since I found out we were pregnant with you. I just finished it a few minutes ago. Hope you like it.

    Love,

    Your Papa

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