well i can hardly believe tomorrow will be jeremiah’s 10 month birthday as well as his tubes surgery. i found out details about the fasting deal. he can eat whatever he wants – food, breastmilk, formula, until 7am. he can have clear liquids – pedialyte, gatorade, water, until 10am. nothing after that. we are to be there by noon. the surgery is set for one. he is supposed to stay at least an hour after for the anesthesiologists to pronounce him ok to leave. during the time we are there, he can’t have anything other than clear liquids.
do you have any idea how hungry and grumpy he’ll be? not to mention how my poor breasts will be! i’m thinking of taking the pump, just in case!
i’m very thankful both my mom and jerry will be going with us! jeremiah will appreciate their presence as well, tho i know he won’t be able to express it. 🙂
i feel i should give a little more background about my sister. i’m afraid she is not just a normal account of a teenage mother-to-be. even though she is now 18, she has an extremely low iq and is mentally and emotionally at about a 6th grade level. you cannot tell by looking at her there is anything wrong. some people don’t even have a clue after they’ve met her and spoken with her. they just think she’s an immature teenager. they have no idea how selfish, childish and slow she really is. i know that her mental problems are not her fault. there is nothing she can do to help that. but she CAN help her attitude, and throughout my knowing her, she has only thought of herself. the times that she has been nice and kind, for the most part, are times that she wanted to get something from someone. i’m not saying she is ALL bad. she had some good qualities too. but she is DEFINITELY not a good candidate for motherhood. for one thing, i believe her driving force is jealousy. she has been SO jealous of me and my relationship with jeremiah. you could just SEE the resentment on her face sometimes. she really cared about jeremiah, or so i thought. since she left to live with her birth mom, i have only talked with her once, and it was not on purpose – she called my mom’s cell phone while i happened to have it. but she hasn’t called me to see how he’s doing, or to try to set up a visit with him, or anything.
another reason is her lack of responsibility and care. when she was holding jeremiah sometimes, when he was a tiny thing, she would grow very impatient and irritated with him over things that little babies have control over. like kicking, or wiggling, or crying, or spitting up. i remember one of these occasions and jerry and i looked at eachother, saying that we hoped she would not become a mother until she grew up, if she ever would grow up. she was also very wishy-washy with him. treated him like a toy – if she wanted to play with him, she would want him. when she got tired of him, she wanted us to take him back. that sort of selfishness does NOT work with your own child. a baby is NOT a toy to be put down just because you are tired of hearing it, or it doesn’t suit your mood at the moment.
i am by no means saying i am the perfect mother. but i have wanted to be a mom forever, and have taken care of kids for most of my life. and I felt insecure and inadequate as a mom – hey, i still do sometimes!
i am just truly afraid for this child and its safety. the home jannelle is in is NOT safe for her, let alone for a baby.
i do hope this grows jannelle up some. but at what cost? the cost of a poor baby as a guinea pig is not good enough for me.
i have so many thoughts about this that i just don’t want to share, because not one of you can truly understand the whole situation, no matter what i say. you only judge me and my feelings about it. so i’ll just end it now.