Easter post

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i hope everyone had a lovely Easter. i had a nice one. i never forget what my Lord has done for me, but there are times that it seems more real and more special. Easter is one of those times. i don’t know why it’s not just as real and mind-boggling on every day musings, but i guess i’m just a dumb woman who needs a holiday (or a movie) to consider the cost that our Lord paid for our salvation. why i’m like this, i don’t know.
i have never done anything that would be considered a HUGE sin, but i know i am a sinner, just as every other person who ever lived (aside from Jesus) is a sinner. and Jesus Christ died for ME. He rose again for ME. all so i could live with Him one day in heaven forever. how is it that after all He suffered through, after He has loved me so strongly and so deeply, i still ignore His pleadings? i ignore His still small voice when He tells me to turn off the tv, turn off the computer, and just listen to Him, to read His Word. why is that?? how can i ignore Him after all He has done for me??
i have been a Christian for most of my life (since i was 5), so you’d think i would know better by now.
but perhaps that’s part of my problem – that i’m so comfortable in my Christianity, i lose sight of the daily life.
i like to think i’m a good person, that i’m a good Christian, and i want everyone to think that too. but i’m not! i am horrible inside. i have hateful thoughts about people i LOVE. i feel lonely and resentful at times. i feel totally unworthy of my husband, of my child, but most importantly, of my salvation.
it’s really not like me to be so open, to bare my heart like this online…at least not where spiritual things are concerned. and that above is the reason. i am soooo far off from the person i want people to think i am, from the person i want to be. i want to be able to be more open and honest on this blog. if it comes down to it, i will have private posts that only my *real* friends and family will have access to. that’s only if i get flack about being honest on my own blog though.
anyway, i know that all sounded really depressing, but i’m really not down. i am just challenged to do better, to be who i want to be. i want to live for the Lord, not myself. He has done so much for me, how can i not try to live for Him?!
please pray for me as i make this effort. my Christian friends, please feel free to ask me how i’m doing in my spiritual life as well.
*******
i have put up a notify thingy to the right. is it worth it? does anyone ever sign up for those? i have never signed up for one (i don’t think any of my pals have one though). wouldn’t it be nice if there was something that let you know in ONE email if ALL of your blogfriends have updated their sites? i would love that. i know it’s not possible though lol.
jeremiah is becoming more and more like a baby and less and less like an infant. it’s so sad! and so wonderful both at once. he is SO much fun! there are times when you can tell all he wants to do is talk to me. he’ll just sit there on my lap facing me and babble and smile and giggle and coo. it’s SO precious! i can tell he’s gonna be a talker like his papa! πŸ™‚ i can talk like anything when you get to know me (or online hehe), but i am usually very shy and itroverted at first. i don’t think he’ll be like that. of course you never know. he still isn’t fond of his tummy time, and since he spits up so much we are always wary of even putting him on his belly. but he gets a bit of tummy time every now and then. ok i’m posting too much about him – that’s supposed to go on HIS site! lol.
jerry has tomorrow off. he had planned to go put in an app. at fed-ex. we’ll see how he feels though. he’s pretty bushed today. it would be nice for us to go out as a little family. now that jeremiah is more fun traveling, it will be nice. he seems to love his stroller if he’s moving…there i go, talking about him again! he’s my little love so it’s hard not to talk about him – he is the one i’m with all day, after all!

jerry works with a woman who likes to eat dirt. she actually commented about different flavors of dirt as if there are quality tasting dirts and bad tasting dirts. OKAAAAAY. a bit odd. i think she needs to see a dr, because i am pretty sure it means she’s iron-deficient. she also has rickets, which is a sure sign of vitamin deficiency. i wonder what she eats, besides dirt?? a normal diet would give her most things she needs. poor woman. and she doesn’t even think there’s anything wrong. sigh. ***edited to add: she is not pregnant, and this has been going on with her for years. and dirt is the only thing she wants to eat, nothing else, so the proper term is not pica, we already wondered about that. there’s some disorder she has, but jerry can’t remember what it’s called. end of edit***
have i mentioned lately how much i love my hubby? he is really wonderful to me. he does too much for me, i must say. i’m a very blessed woman. i have a loving, wonderful man, and a precious, adorable son. what more could a woman want?!
well, this has been quite the long post!
blessings and hugs to all!

This Post Has 17 Comments

  1. Thia

    No flack from me, except…thanks, you had to go and post someth
    No flack from me, except…thanks, you had to go and post something like that which challenges me to attempt to get off my complacent rear! While I am kidding you, I am also serious. Thanks for the wake up call.

  2. BeckiK

    Hey Jenn, thanks for visiting my site! I don’t think I’ve ever b
    Hey Jenn, thanks for visiting my site! I don’t think I’ve ever been to your blog but I’m here to catch up and I think you son is adorable! I just posted two pics of Scottie (photoblog)but they are a little distorted and I’m trying to figure out why.
    Talk to ya soon!
    Becki

  3. Kara

    Jenn, you inspire me in so many ways …
    Jenn, you inspire me in so many ways … I love your blog & get sad when I don’t have time for the computer and visiting :lovey: Jeremiah is growing up so quickly … savor it, mama … I wish I could tell you they slow down, but they don’t. Jillian has mornings where she wakes up and I swear she has grown since the night before! πŸ˜‰ Best Wishes!

  4. Manda

    Thanks for saying everything I have been thinking about saying.
    Thanks for saying everything I have been thinking about saying. Spirituality is a huge part of who I am, yet I feel like you might never know it from reading my blog! How terrible is that?

  5. Suzanne

    Eating things other than foods is called PICA.
    Eating things other than foods is called PICA. It happens a lot to pregnant women, but is a psychiatric condition. I once took care of a woman that we couldn’t leave alone because she would eat her sheets, clothes, pens, anything she could get her hands on! Crazy.

  6. Cheryl

    Jenn, thanks for posting this and for your honesty.
    Jenn, thanks for posting this and for your honesty. That’s something I’m striving for on my blog as well, even though it’s hard. But, since my faith is who I am, I need to write about it.

  7. Autumn

    AWESOME post Jenn! I think you are normal πŸ™‚ We are Christians b
    AWESOME post Jenn! I think you are normal πŸ™‚ We are Christians but we are not perfect. God mad eus imperfect remember. So all those little flaws you blogged about….COMPLETELY NORMAL in my opinion. Love ya and I love my little nephews picture in the suit πŸ™‚ TOO CUTE!!:rotfl:

  8. MaryBeth

    Jenn, your silly for worrying that we would criticize you for yo
    Jenn, your silly for worrying that we would criticize you for your personal blog entries- thats what friends are for- to listen- and the critics can always be edited out!:lol: At least you spared a moment for Christ on easter instead of blogging about Ham dinner and in laws like I did!:rolleyes: I’d love to be a good Christian but instead Im a potty mouthed sailor with a very weak will~ In other words~ I’m human!Anyway I have to Say Jeremiah looks incedibly grown up in the lastest pics–Im amazed at how quick he is growing. Sending love and prayers for you all- Bear Hugz :bear:

  9. Kim

    LOL THis woman eats DIRT? Willingly? Often? Interesting…

    LOL THis woman eats DIRT? Willingly? Often? Interesting…

    and boy you werent kidding when you said a long post! :p LOL But I can completely understand what you are thinking and going through,. Many christian mothers do πŸ™‚

  10. carol

    I’ve been thinking about some of these things too. You are a won
    I’ve been thinking about some of these things too. You are a wonderful person.

    I’ve never heard of anyone enjoying dirt eating. YUCK

  11. Chette

    Hi sis!!! I post something (latest post)in my blog..
    Hi sis!!! I post something (latest post)in my blog.. and I need your opinion.. can you answer the question? (just put your answers in the comment box ^_^ thank you…)

  12. MaryBeth

    Well, since you got me thinking about it I thought Id check out
    Well, since you got me thinking about it I thought Id check out the “dirt eating” thing- No I didnt eat any I just researched. “Geophagy” is dirt eating. It is a form of Pica, which is consuming other items than food. You dont have to consume different items, just any regular non food item. Some cultures eat dirt such as in Africa, South America, and the Deep south of America. Sometimes it starts as a craving for iron, such as when pregnant, sometimes you eat it as a social ritual. It is not considered an eating disorder, and is not considered harmful unless you are eating contaminated dirt (toxins or PCBs) or not getting enough nutrition because you fill up on dirt rather than nutritional food. You are recommended to see your doctor to check your overall health if you eat dirt. Once begun, dirt eating often becomes a craving for the actual taste. here are two great articles, a researched one”http://www.newhouse.com/archive/story1c012502.html” and an anecdotal one “http://usadeepsouth.ms11.net//dirt.html” Now arent you glad you got me started! Bear hugz!!!
    :cookie::cookie::no::no::no::no:

  13. MaryBeth

    I know they are probably cookies but they looked like balls of D
    I know they are probably cookies but they looked like balls of Dirt. I want to lose wieght , but no way would I eat DIRT :rolleyes: to do it! I guess Im to much of a Yankee! Lov Ya!

  14. Nikki

    I am glad that you had a nice Easter.

    I am glad that you had a nice Easter.
    You said you felt unworthy of your salvation..It says in the Bible that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. God loves us no matter what we do and nothing we do can ever change that.
    :yes:

  15. Julie

    Good Evening Jenn!

    Sorry I haven’t chatted here in a while. I
    Good Evening Jenn!

    Sorry I haven’t chatted here in a while. I have visited, but I usually have Amanda in my arms, which makes it hard to type! LOL! But no complaints here, as I love holding my baby girl! :lovey:

    I might be changing my domain name, will let you know in an Email if I do… I’ve been wanting something shorter for a while now, and have recently been getting some comments on my blog that are bothering me :sad:… So anyway, I’ll let you know one way or the other.

    Have a great day! Kiss Jeremiah for me!

    Hugs :angel:
    Julie

  16. Chette

    (copy paste) Just blog hopping πŸ˜€ coz you’re in my list πŸ˜€ have
    (copy paste) Just blog hopping πŸ˜€ coz you’re in my list πŸ˜€ have you tried the games yet? God bless πŸ˜€ Um.. Can you do me a favor? I am right now editing a game (java name game) for my blog.. and it’s all about my Friends.. but some of my friends are online (so I really don’t know your full names… and I want to use your full names…) so can you please help me? can you give me your Full name?

  17. Jess

    I really enjoyed reading about your personal convictions. I know
    I really enjoyed reading about your personal convictions. I know how you feel- I have posted something personal and then deleted it so many times because it feels so personal… too personal to share. But ya know what? Sometimes I think I am wrong in doing that because when I read about your personal Christian life, it blesses me. It helps me remember that everyone isn’t perfect. It helps me remeber that our God is a wonderful FORGIVING God! He loves us and no matter what we do- we can always be forgiven. Thank you for a wonderful post! πŸ™‚

    PS. Eating dirt is so gross!!! LOL! Poor woman!

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