Thanks so much for joining us for our Lights of Hope in Times of Darkness Series! Each post in the series is written by a different author. We hope you’ll be blessed, encouraged, challenged and comforted all at once. Please let us know if you need prayer – we’d love to pray for you!
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5
Nearly a year ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. A momentous occasion at any time, but one that seemed particularly wonderful, because she was a direct answer to a prayer.
The day she was born was one of the brightest I’ve had. @WelloFaith #lightsofhope Click To Tweet Not only was the sun shining, but my spirits were up. The pregnancy itself hadn’t been rough–marred only by a rather relentless bout of bronchitis–and the delivery was without complications.
There was joy.
So much joy.
Then the Darkness Came
Before we’d even left the hospital things began to change. The brightness and joy were being dulled–just a little around the edges at first.
I didn’t sleep that night. My whole body dripped sweat and I soaked through my pillow.
If she wasn’t in my arms my heart would pound.
When her father held her, my palms would sweat.
Once we got home, it only got worse, and I had no idea what was happening or why. Every day I’d pray for peace, for wisdom, for strength.
God had blessed me with this beautiful child, and I was terrified to be around people. @WelloFaith #lightsofhope Click To TweetEvery day I felt weaker, more distant, more anxious.
So I prayed.
She slept in her bassinet beside our bed, and when that only caused me more anxiety, she slept wrapped in my arms. Each sound she made woke me, and I’d check on her.
So I prayed.
It took me months to realize I was suffering through Postpartum Anxiety–made worse by Seasonal Affective Disorder.
The Light Overcame the Darkness
Through everything I prayed.
Sometimes it didn’t seem like it was working; my prayers were being ignored.
Only they weren’t. The LORD heard them, and even though He may not have answered them in my time or in my way, He helped me through this worst part of this life season.
Every day isn’t a good day. In fact, most days aren’t good days, but they’re getting better.
And on those days when I struggle with the anxiety and the anger that comes with it– He lifts me up.
He loves me.
He doesn’t give up on me.
He is the Light. And He will overcome the darkness. @WelloFaith #lightsofhope Click To TweetAbout the Author
Sare is a 30-something daughter of the One True King, living in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and three children. Visit her at WelloFaith.com and find her on Social channels: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
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This post means so much to my heart. I have three kids and did not experience any post partum issues until baby three came. It was so intense and overwhelming feeling all of these emotions and my anxiety was on a completely different level than usual. I have suffered from intense anxiety since I was 17 and I am now 29 so I am used to anxiety, but this was a different kind of anxiety. I have come through it though and my baby is now 21 months old. God gave me courage, strength, hope and filled me with joy when I was filled with such overwhelming emotion all the time. I enjoyed reading this and I am glad you are getting through it too. God is so good.