I Can’t Do Everything…And God Doesn’t Expect Me To {Imperfect Moms Day 37}

I used to be the perfect mother, and had the blog to prove it. I sewed cute matching pants and skirts for my kids. I threw ridiculously detailed themed parties just for fun. I prepped and froze 40 meals at a time and baked our bread from scratch. I homeschooled my older children while caring for toddlers and babies. It was amazing. I was amazing.

I was also exhausted, all the time. Laundry piled up and I sometimes went to bed at night already dreading the next day. I wasn’t high- energy, I never have been. But I was stubborn and determined. My husband and I started our family 19 years ago with one tiny six-pound baby and a whole lot of parenting philosophies. Our babies would be completely breastfed, eat no sugar, watch no TV and grow up to be kind, obedient children…

We did an amazing job for a long time. All of our babies (including the adopted ones) breastfed for a good chunk of their infancy. We kept them away from TV and sugar and worked hard on first-time obedience.

Then our youngest child was born with a heart defect that went undiagnosed for 18 months. At the same time his health was falling apart another son, adopted as a newborn, was beginning to exhibit some very serious emotional and mental health challenges. Suddenly my life was balanced between laundry, meals, hospital visits and seeking the best mental health care we could for my son.

Homeschooling was shoved to the back burner and our family began to flounder. I told myself I just need to be more organized, more prepared. I needed to stay up later, get up earlier and read my Bible more. I stubbornly stuck to my ideals from 20 years before. It turns out, I didn’t need to do any other those things. I needed to depend on God. I needed to face reality and enroll my kids in school. I now use my “spare time” to advocate more effectively for my children with special needs.

It turns out, I can’t do everything. I need help, and that’s okay. During this season of our life, help is coming from many different areas: the public school system, therapists and psychologists, doctors and sometimes even the pizza place. I am learning to prioritize my time and learn to be more forgiving of myself. I am learning to depend on God daily for guidance and provision.

It isn’t easy, this isn’t the place I dreamed of being, but it is where God has placed me. As always, I am thankful my faith is not dependent on my circumstances, but on the sovereignty of God.

Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

About the Author: Renee is the mom of 14 fabulous kids, ranging in age from 5-23. She and her husband live in the pacific northwest with their 9 youngest children. Renee enjoys reading, writing, knitting and good coffee. She is also a professional birth photographer and prolific blogger. Find her on her blog, her photography blog, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter.