Jenn saw the doctor, at Valle Vista, today and has been been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and possible autism. She has been prescribed new medications and took her first doses tonight. They want to observe her until at least Monday. If she shows a substantial improvement (75%) she will come home then.
I did see her tonight and she really misses her family and friends. Unfortunately, she cannot receive more visitors until Tuesday. Hopefully she will be home before then.
The staff, as a whole, has been nice to her, she says, although the front desk was pretty rude and disrespectful to both me and her mom. They did not seem at all understanding of situation at all. Jenn says the whole place reminds her of the movie “Girl Interrupted.” It is cold and difficult for her to get any sleep. She is unable to use her own pillow or her fan (she always needs white noise) and no one is permitted to have a cell on the premises (she has a white noise app). There are other patients there with a variety of illnesses, mainly drug addictions, some of who keep her up with their cussing, screaming and yelling. It just isn’t a comfortable experience to say the least.
Please continue to pray for her, as the staff works to find an answer for what she is going through. Pray that this new medication is that answer. Supposedly it works in a majority of cases. We’ll see. Most of all pray for her mental and spiritual peace. She said she really feels a strong negative spiritual presence there among the patients. She wants people to pray for her to be a light in the darkness. She understands that she has her own stuff to deal with but she also realizes that many of the other patients are probably not saved. She just wants to faithfully represent Christ during this period of weakness and possibly be an encouragement to others.
First and foremost, she is there for her own recovery, so she can return to family that she loves very much. No matter what, things are going to have to be different around the house. Pray that all of us will receptive to those changes. We, Jenn’s family, want Jenn to have peace and joy in her life and we recognize our roles in helping that to happen. Ultimately, we lift this request to the Lord, for He, alone, is our source of strength. Pray that we all will be submissive to His purpose in this trial. Most of all, we want to glorify God, not only in the good times, but the bad as well.
One prayer request I have, personally, is that I will not place too high of expectations upon Jenn. Jenn doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is. She is loved in her weakness. I want to build her up and encourage her in her walk, not cause undue anxiety. The best thing I can do is just be here for her. When I stated that we desire to glorify God in this situation, that is not to say that we expect Jenn to behave like a perfect Christian. God loves her right where she is. Sometimes the best way to glorify God is to just be REAL, not pretend to have it altogether, but to let your scars, from all your falls, be seen. Sometimes even Christians fall down and take a while getting back up. I want to allow her the space to grow at the pace God has set before her, not my own.
Jenn has a strong commitment to be open about all this so she can be a source of encouragement for others. She doesn’t want others struggling with depression to feel compelled to to hide their struggle, pretending to be fine, when they are not. Depression is a serious physical, mental and spiritual problem, even among Christians. We want our ministry, here at Busy Being Blessed to be a source of encouragement for all individuals and families coping with this very real illness.
I have no shame in admitting that I have been dealing with my own depression for most of my life. I, too, have on several occasions, contemplated taking my life. If it hadn’t been for my faith in God, the love and support of my wife and, of course, my own love for my entire family, I might not be here today. Sometime soon I plan to share my own testimony. For now, my primary concern is for the wellbeing of my wife. She has been an inspiration to me and I love her more than she will ever know.
I do not think it is by coincidence that we were brought together, nor that we both share a passion for ministering to the weak and broken. Perhaps that is why God has allowed us to be broken, so others can see that being broken is nothing to be ashamed of. After all, Christ was glorified in His weakness, and, as a result, has reconciled the world unto Himself. So we boast of our weakness, for, in our weakness, the power of God is revealed.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
The semicolon tattoo on the wrist has been a symbol of hope for those suffering from suicidal depression. Basically it represents a life that is not over yet. It symbolizes hope. I created this symbol, the semicolon embedded in a cross to symbolize the eternal hope we have in Christ Jesus. For my wife and I, it represents hope for the present as well as hope for the future.
We plan on creating T-shirts, bearing this symbol, to sell on our site, in hopes of offsetting some of the cost of Jenn’s current stay at Valle Vista. We hope that it might also be a source of hope and encouragement to all those struggling with or have loved ones struggling with mental illness. But even more so, we want it to be a symbol of hope for all those who have placed their faith, not in their flesh, but in Christ Jesus, our blessed eternal HOPE.
We will be designing a variety of styles to choose from. Let us know if you are interested. It will be a few days before we can start get it all set up. Work and kids are enough for now. Thanks for your support, guys. We love you!
In Christ, alone, there is hope. In Christ, all things are possible
Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. They have been received gratefully. You have been a huge blessing to my family and I have truly noticed the hand of God in all of this. Thank you again and God bless! I love you all!