Family Toolbox Review

The Family Toolbox, by the National Center for Biblical Parenting, is a DVD/video-driven program that brings parents and teens together for constructive dialogue around significant issues of discipleship. Conversation is sparked by engaging video clips. Sixteen Life Success Principles are communicated through eight lessons that give parents and teens biblically-based, practical topics for discussion. The format grabs teens and gets them interacting.

The Family Toolbox has 8 lessons. Each one has a 1-2 minute scene of a family living life and experiencing common challenges in their relationships. A discussion guide prompts dialogue between parents and teens and a 10-minute teaching session for parents featuring Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN gives practical tools to use right away.

#familytoolbox #heartparenting

A couple notes I’d like to make: The dvd can only be used in a computer. I mention this because I was really befuddled when my dvd player kept spitting it out. I finally took it out to read that it was for computer use only. This might be important to someone, because sometimes disc drives break. Thankfully, we had a second computer which drive works, so we could watch it. 🙂 Please make sure you watch the family dramas first (before allowing your kids to see them). There are some very intense scenes that truly shouldn’t be viewed by younger than 10 year olds. Actually, they were tough for my sensitive ten year old to see!

I’m always on the lookout for Biblically-based parenting tools. My oldest is almost eleven, and is very much a “tween” in attitude and behavior, so I figured I could learn a few things for parenting him from the product. I was right! Not only him though. Nearly every section was actually applicable for my kids.

Okay, so the acting isn’t stellar. But I totally related to the scenes. I cringed when I saw myself in the parents and nodded when I saw my boys in the kids. Very realistic situations and circumstances. Even my five year old watched a few of the short dramas with interest. Of course, he couldn’t discuss with me what the problems were (other than the parental figures yelling, lol), but still.

The parental videos were a bit more painful. Both Jerry and I thought the host was not a very good actor/presenter. Dr Turansky and Mrs Miller did well though. Our only problems were that we felt like we were left hanging most of the time.

Even with the book, we still felt there was some meat we were missing. I even had to rewind at one point because I thought we’d missed something when one of the kids interrupted us, only to find that we missed what wasn’t there.

I suppose that with four very unique, predictably trouble-making boys, we wanted a lot more situational advice. What should we do when we use the right tools, the right tone, we are prepared ahead of time for problems to arise, and things still spin out of control?

I get that we need to work on the heart and the character of our children. What is included in the heart-training? I know there are other products by this company specifically for heart-training, but I admit I was a tad disappointed that this product wasn’t more of an “all-inclusive” package. And let me give full disclosure that we did not do all of the lessons yet. So perhaps there is a bit of a wrap-up and implementing idea section later on.

Here’s what you’ll find in the package:

Lesson 1 – It Starts with the Heart
Question: How can I effectively help my child mature and develop?
Answer: Focus on the heart
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #1: Be Respectful Even When It’s Hard.
Life Success Principle #2: Develop Internal Motivation.

Lesson 2 – Follow Instructions Well
Question: How do I get my kids to listen when I tell them to do something?
Answer: Tighten your action point to clarify expectations
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #3: Develop Healthy Habits for Following Instructions.
Life Success Principle #4: Look for Ways to Contribute to Family Life.

Lesson 3 – Handle Pressure Without Losing Your Cool
Question: How can I reduce conflict and still get things done?
Answer: Turn problems into tasks instead of escalating them into conflict
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #5: Solve Problems Instead of Generating Conflict.
Life Success Principle #6: Instead of Sarcasm Develop the Skills of a Peacemaker.

Lesson 4 – The Value of Correction
Question: How can I maximize correction so that my kids change?
Answer: Use a Positive Conclusion to process offenses
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #7: Learn to Value Correction.
Life Success Principle #8: Apologize Well.

Lesson 5 – The Importance of Responsibility
Question: What consequences can I use to get my kids to change?
Answer: Add non-confrontational correction to your toolbox
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #9: Develop a Plan for Being Responsible.
Life Success Principle #10: Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes.

Lesson 6 – Accept No as an Answer
Question: How can I get my child to accept no as an answer?
Answer: Move from the issue to the process
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #11: Train Yourself to Accept No as an Answer.
Life Success Principle #12: Avoid Arguing.

Lesson 7 – Deal with Your Own Anger
Question: How can I break the cycle of anger in our family relationships?
Answer: Pull back instead of push forward when things get intense.
For Discussion with Your Teen
Life Success Principle #13: View Your Family as a Team and Look for Ways to Work Together.
Life Success Principle #14: Learn Self-Control to Manage Anger.

Lesson 8 – Consider the Needs of Others
Question: How can I get my kids to contribute to our family instead of just draining it?
Answer: Teach them how to take initiative using the concept of honor.
Life Success Principle #15: Practice Flexibility When Plans Change.
Life Success Principle #16: Learn to Handle Unfairness Well.

I am sure we will have to go through these lessons more than one time, and as the boys grow older, they will become more and more relevant.

The truth is, they probably are a bit too young for most of this, but at least we have some really good foundation to build on.

I love how the authors focus on the heart, and go back to the Bible for their information. I always have more respect for authors when the Bible is their basis of authority.

Another thing I love is how they talk about how we are trying to grow respectable, caring, responsible adults.

My kids are younger, but they still need to know that Mama and Papa aren’t setting up guidelines and rules just because we’re grumpy old meanies. It’s because we care about them and who they are going to be. We know God has big plans for our young men, and we want them to be prepared for what is in store.

We were very blessed to have received a copy of the Family Toolbox, and know it will help us in our parenting life in the future.

God bless,
Jenn