Ahhhhhh

i have zofran in me once again. feeling much better.
try this game and guess for real, not by what you know!! the age project.
also, if you haven’t done the expectnet game for bean yet, please do. once march 8 comes around (if bean cooperates) it will be closed. game name is baby-bean.
i am thinking of making a pw protected entry about my sis jannelle and her situation. for only prayer-warrier friends to read, so you can have details and everything to pray more specifically for her and the situation. i just don’t feel right about airing all her dirty laundry. especially since i have been getting more and more lurkers lately.
well i need to shower and nap. today is nate’s first 4 hour day and i want to be ready for him! 😀
thanks for the continued prayers.

A Big Wah

i hate it when i don’t feel well. i start getting all sorry-for-myself feeling and thinking everyone hates me. why? i don’t know. just my tiny bit of self-esteem i guess. i am such a loser!
i am feeling horrible. i am unable to get more zofran until monday. yeah, monday. so i have been vomiting everything i eat this morning. sigh.
please pray for me. i don’t know how i’ll last until monday.
someone just hit me. i am such a whiny baby!!!!!!

Bean @ 14 Weeks

to be more accurate: my pregnancy at 14 weeks, bean’s progress at 12 weeks!
How your baby’s growing: Head to bottom, your baby’s 3 1/2 inches long — about the length of a lemon — and weighs about 1 1/2 ounces. Her body’s growing faster than her head, which now sits upon a more well-defined neck. By the end of this week, her arms will have lengthened and will be in proportion to the rest of her body. (Her legs still have some growing to do, though.) She’s starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair all over her body (called lanugo). Her liver starts secreting bile this week, a sign that it’s already functioning properly, and her spleen starts contributing to the production of red blood cells. She’s also producing and discharging urine into the amniotic fluid, a normal process that she’ll keep up until birth. You still can’t feel your baby’s movements, but her hands and feet (which are now half an inch long) are more flexible and active. Thanks to brain impulses, her little facial muscles are getting a workout as she squints, frowns, and grimaces. She can grasp now, too, and she may be able to suck her thumb.

WE’RE PREGNANT!

Well, it’s happened. Not because of expensive fertility drugs. We haven?t taken any since February. No, it happened because we gave this desire totally over to God and we prayed for his blessing and miracle like never before. It happened because all of you, our beloved friends and family never stopped praying and continued to believe the Lord would bless us.

Yes, WE ARE PREGNANT! We are due either in January or February, 2-7 weeks along. We?re both thrilled, overjoyed, thankful and in shock. 🙂

I?m already feeling major morning sickness. I?m having trouble sleeping (partly from the excitement) and I?m peeing more than ever!

We are getting the baby room in order, which until now, though it?s had that title, has doubled as a junk room. ;)I?m already getting signed up on baby registries, and many friends want to take me baby shopping. As you probably know, we have the names picked out already: Jeremiah Thomas or Jalia Annemarie. Even so, you can vote in our poll so we can know how people feel about all the names we?re choosing for our future children.

In case you?re curious, our colors are mint green and lavender. The room theme is lambs, pastel Baby Snoopy and Precious Moments. As soon as it?s mainly decorated we?ll of course have pictures for you to see.

I can?t begin to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers and your love for us. I know this baby will be so very loved with real aunts and uncles and surrogate aunts and uncles as well!!!

Ok, here?s what had happened to tip me off. First of all, I have been feeling sick to my stomach for quite a while (since about may 8). Then I started getting breast tenderness. This past Saturday I wrote five or six new lullabies for my lullaby album, without feeling melancholy or depressed (not feeling I?d never sing these songs to my children), actually feeling happy. I was already thinking, hmmmm maybe it?s true. Then I got some disturbing news from a friend, and it sealed my decision to take a pregnancy test and find out if I was right!

I held my pee as long as I could, and awoke at 4 am, needing to go badly. This is it! I thought. I was looking to the left while I peed thinking it won?t be positive?then I put the stick down and said, yes, I AM pregnant, I know it. In like five seconds, it went positive!!!!!! I had to run and tell Jerry and he was so shocked and happy! I took a second positive test about half an hour later, then called my mom and dad, who were surprised and happy.

I tried to get back to sleep, but was pretty unsuccessful. I tossed and turned over and over. One of the songs I wrote on Saturday played in my mind and heart?.here are a few of the lyrics: Thank You, Lord, for this child from You

A perfect gift from Heaven, a blessed dream come true

You alone know how very long I prayed

For this precious miracle, and to You I give the praise

A life, a precious life, formed by Your hands

A heart, a tiny heart, made from pure love

You gave him to me, as I prayed that you would

Now I commit him unto You, Lord; once again, he?s in Your hands

At nine, I called my dr?s office and asked for a blood test ordered.in between then and the actual blood test, I took another positive urine test (I just had to be sure!). the blood test was at eleven, and they had to stick me three times to find a vein. L and then we didn?t find out until 550 that yes, it is indeed absolutely positive!!!

So when I got home I called lots of people. If you weren?t called, please don?t be offended. Either we don?t have your number or we figured it would be too late to call you, as I was sooo tired after my last phonecall after 10. I was just exhausted.

Today I?m home from work recovering from my stressful, though wonderful day yesterday. I feel horrible ? sick, tired and miserable. But still oh-so-happy!

here are the lyrics that describe exactly what I?m feeling (from a Christmas soundtrack called Child of the Promise): When The Dream Never Dies

(Michael Omartian & Stormie Omartian)

Deep in my heart was an ember of longing

Kept warm by the flame of desire

A dream held in secret I yearned to hold openly

Fanned by my hope into fire

It burned to such heat I could touch it no more

So I put it away and then closed up the door

Forever extinguishing all that would keep it alive

But the dream never died

The Lord has done this for me

He has looked on me kindly

He has heard all my cries

He has given me back what I laid at His feet

It must be God

When the dream never dies

Isn’t it just like the Lord to invite me

To put all my dreams in His hands

Forever releasing the grip that once held them

Forever surrending my plans

And then when He’s certain it’s not born of men

He calls for the fire to rekindle again

And He asks me to know in my heart

What’s not seen with my eyes

So the dream never dies

The Lord has done this for me

He has looked on me kindly

He has heard all my cries

He has given me back what I laid at his feet

It must be God

When the dream never dies

It must be God

When the dream never dies

Thanks again, friends and family, for all your prayers and support. Please continue to pray for us, that this pregnancy will be normal, that our baby will be healthy and that all goes well.

Love to you all,

Jenn (mama!) and Jerry (papa!) and our beloved baby 🙂

Dear Baby,

This is my first gift to you. This journal is to keep a record of memories of this pregnancy for you. I have been working on it since I found out we were pregnant with you. I just finished it a few minutes ago. Hope you like it.

Love,

Your Papa

5 Things NOT to Say to Someone Experiencing Infertility
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5 Things NOT to Say to Someone Experiencing Infertility

hello. a fellow infertility struggler manda linked to this on her site. i feel i should do the same. what not to say to an infertile couple. even if you think you’re being kind and sensitive, some things come out wrong, or are at least received wrong!!!!!!!
i found out the pregnant woman who works in the infant room (next door to me in the toddler room) tried a whole year before she got pregnant. wow. i never knew. i just thought it just happened. sometimes i get so caught up in myself i forget that i’m not the only one who has the problem of infertility.
manda also had a few questions that i’d like to answer – replying to people’s insensitive (or just plain ignorant) comments.

1. “I wouldn’t give up my twenties for ANYTHING. I can’t believe you are stressing about infertility at 25 (a few years ago)! What if God wants you to wait until you are twenty-eight?”

first of all, i have always wanted to be a mother. i wanted to begin my family when we first got married. for a while after we COULDN’t get pregnant, i thought God was punishing us for not trusting in Him to plan our family. i have since reconciled this. anyway, children are blessings from the Lord. why would i not want to be blessed????

2. “Be glad you don’t have kids right now. Kids can be such MONSTERS.” or “You’ll never want kids again, after watching mine.” or this is what i get all the time: “You can have my kids if you want some so badly.”

as if kids are always perfect, and i should expect perfection. no, kids are humans, just like us. and NO i don’t want YOUR child, i want MY child, from an infant, to love and teach as i want him to be raised!

3. “If you stop trying, you’ll get pregnant right away.”

that is NOT how infertility works!!!! trying too hard causes stress, which can’t help, but it won’t change infertility. infertility is just like cancer or a sickness – it has to be treated, not ignored!!

—–

well enough of that for now. i need to be going.
God’s blessings unto you,
jenn

How could I ask for more?

How could I ask for more?

well today is another gorgeous day here in indy. the sun is shining, the birds are flocking around grandpa’s new birdfeeder, the breeze is blowing and the garden is growing! i found some perfectly ripened tomatoes! yum!

thanks Lord for another lovely day.

well, the state fair happens soon, and if we don’t go it will be the first we’ve missed in years. but our vacation is the 19th – 25th, so we need every spare dollar we have. we’ll see, we’ll see…i always especially hate to miss Christian music day at the fair…

well, i gave zhou the drawing of mary for her birthday and she loved it. she said it’s the best gift she’s ever gotten *U* – this makes me happy, and also more curious about whether i should sell drawings. it would be fun, and pretty easy. i just need to see if people are interested in it.

sometimes you take for granted all that God has given you. at least i do sometimes. i get caught up in my wants and desires – like having a baby, having a house…and i lose track of all the blessings i have. i know i’m going to heaven when i die, i have a wonderful loving husband, who i love so much and cannot believe i have sometimes, i have a place to live, very cost-effective! i have a loving family that i love a lot, a wonderful loving little puppy who thinks he’s my firstborn child lol, a great, loving church family that i appreciate more and more. God’s given me much to be thankful for. i want to break out in song of one of my favorite songs ‘how could i ask for more’ by cindy morgan. i think i will share the words with you while they are in my heart.

There’s nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon, waking to the sun light, being cradled by the moon. Catching fireflies at night, building castles in the sand, kissing Momma’s face goodnight and holding Daddy’s hand.

Thank You Lord….. How Could I Ask For More?

Running barefoot through the grass, a little hide and go seek. Being so in love that you can hardly eat. Dancing in the dark when there’s no one else around. Being bundled ‘neath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground.

Thank You Lord….. How Could I Ask For More?

So many things I thought would bring me happiness, some dreams that are reality today.
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me are the memories that I’ve made along the way.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from this journey I’m on:
The simple truth will keep you going, simple love will keep you strong.

There are questions without answers, and flames that never die.
And heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise.
So…… Thank You Lord – How could I Ask For More?

how can we ask for more!?

i think i’m going to make that my life’s themesong. and my site’s themesong. i have always loved it and felt it deeply, but now more than ever. i still long to be a mama, to hold my precious child in my arms. but i think what i need to do is be thankful for what i have, and leave it up to God. wow. so simple to say, but can i do it? pray for me.

God bless you.