6 Ways to Cultivate a Happy Marriage

 

1. Serve each other.

If you are anything like us, our lives can be pretty crazy busy at times. We have 8 children who usually need attention in one way or another. It is really easy for me as a mom to get so caught up in caring for them and to put the needs of my husband last. Make a conscious effort to put your husband first! The kids can wait a few minutes for their breakfast while you make a quick cup of coffee for your man. In fact, it is a good thing for the kids  to see you putting Daddy first! Not only is a happy marriage a blessing for you – it is an example for your children as they grow up and pursue their own spouses. “For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” Galations 5:12

My husband has a pretty crazy work schedule. He often gets home about 10 minutes before (or 10 minutes after!) we need to pull out of the driveway when we are going somewhere. I try to  make sure the rest of us are ready to walk out the door as soon as Daddy is home. I know it slows him down to have to dig around in his closet to figure out what to wear, so I will get his clothes out for him and lay them on the bed. It doesn’t have to be anything big – little acts of kindness go a long way to showing that you were thinking of him!

 

2. Make time for each other.

This is a hard one for us. There always seems to be something going on and before we realize it, we haven’t been out on a date or even spent any time alone together for weeks. We usually have to plan in advance if we want to be able to have a date. It doesn’t have to be fancy! This Christmas Mark and I got to slip away and go for a walk since the weather was particularly warm. We walked down the road to the ice cream shop for a cone. It was a crazy thing to do on Christmas day, but it was memorable and a lot of fun. Do something together that you both enjoy.

 

3. Choose your battles wisely.

Mark and I had been over a myriad of doctrine and preferences before we got married. We came from somewhat different backgrounds and anticipated that we may have some different ideas about things. I was a bit surprised when we were first married that it was nothing ‘big’ like that where we had the hardest time adjusting to marriage. You know what it was? It was just the fact that I was a night owl and his work schedule meant he needed to go to bed early. Sounds like not that big a deal, right? For me, it was.  Mark was doing great just to stay away long enough to have devotions after supper and in my opinion the day was yet young! I had to learn to get up earlier so that I would also be tired at a more reasonable hour in the evening.

More recently, I began to get frustrated by the growing pile of Mark’s clothes in the corner behind our bedroom door. It was a corner I didn’t see often, so I didn’t realize there was anything there until the pile had grown quite large. Finally, I was packing for a weekend away when I couldn’t find any of Mark’s clothes in his drawer to pack. It was then that I notice the notorious corner. I was not impressed. Most of the clothes were dirty and it was too late to do laundry at that point. I packed whatever I could find that seemed reasonably clean and made a mental not to mention the corner at a more opportune time.

“If your clothes are dirty, could you please just throw them on the floor? I’ll take care of it from there, but I need to be able to see them!” I said.

“Oh. Well, I was just going to keep wearing them so you wouldn’t have so much laundry to do…” was his reply.

Ahhhh! He was just going to keep wearing dirty clothes so I didn’t have to wash them?! How could I be upset about that?! The pile in the corner has gotten smaller and I try to remind myself to check for its existence. But even if it is there…I remind myself of the reason.

If you have some issues that you have true discomfort over, bring them up to your husband after you have had time to pray about it and considered the best way to confront him. Realize that he may not agree. Just communicate your concern and trust the Lord to work through his leadership. If you are not in the habit of complaining over petty issues, your husband will take your concern more seriously.

“…the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.” Proverbs 19:13b

“It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” Proverbs 21:9

 

4. Don’t keep anything from each other.

If your husband is your best friend, he needs to be the one you share your secrets with! Don’t go behind each other’s back in any circumstance …unless it is for gift purposes! 🙂

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” Proverbs 31:11

 

5. Never speak evil of your spouse to others.

I realize there is a time and place for council. Complaining about your husband to others only encourages your own discontent! Have you prayed about it? Do you need to evaluate your own heart and your reaction to what is going on? Have you mentioned it to your spouse? Hashing it out with your friends is merely gossip and is harmful to your husband’s reputation.

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

 

6. Give him a goodbye to remember!

Make sure you give your husband your full attention for a few seconds before he leaves for work. Let him know that you appreciate his hard work in supporting your family and look forward to his return. Give him something to smile about when he thinks of you!

Ruth has been married to her Boaz (Mark) for over 14 years. They have been blessed with 8 children, which they homeschool. Ruth blogs at www.skirtedblues.com, runs an Etsy shop, and sells Lilla Rose hair accessories. Mark is a co-owner of the family dairy farm. Their life is crazy, dirty, busy, loud and very happy. Also find Ruth on Facebook, Instagram , Pinterest & You Tube.

What about you? Any tips you’d add to my list?