I have decided to be more open and honest when I can on here. I don’t want people to only have a flat view of me, and I don’t want me to look back and say “Wow life was so peachy then, and look at it now!”
I went to the gyn yesterday to discuss some personal things (still having pain ‘down there’ and Josiah is 10 1/2 mos!) and brought up my temper, major sensitivity/crying over everything.
She had me take a test (with questions) and I scored the grand prize: Severely Depressed. She prescribed Lexapro (safe for nursing and in case we get pregnant). She also recommended a counselor, but I’m trying to find one I KNOW is a Christian.
It is nice to know I am not crazy, I am not losing my mind, I am not a horrible person. I do believe Depression is a chemical imbalance, a medical issue, and I’m thankful that the Lord helped people create something to help with it. Not a cure, unfortunately, but something to help.
I am so tired of being mad/sad/upset over what seems nothing. I don’t want to yell at my husband all the time. I don’t want to lose my patience with my kids. I don’t want to cry at everything.
I know a pill is not a cure-all but I know it will at least make me feel like a real human again. I know sometimes I act like nothing is wrong when I post but I have really really been struggling lately. I would appreciate and covet your prayers.