I’ve been accused of being perfect. No, not of perfectionism. I’m almost an anti-perfectionist, if there is such a thing. Perfect. Can you imagine someone actually thinking you are perfect? I was dumbfounded. On top of that, it was an ACCUSATION. I quickly said, “No, I’m definitely NOT perfect. What I’m trying to say is…” I don’t think that person ever understood or even wanted to understand what I was saying. It probably doesn’t matter now.
[Tweet “Can you imagine someone actually thinking you are perfect? @DawnitaFogleman #imperfectmom”]
Imagine. A teen girl. Her life is hard. She is pregnant. Her family is angry with her.
What do you see?
I see a world of possibilities. I see new life. I see love and blessing. I see forgiveness. I see opportunity.
I see life through a different lens than many people.
[Tweet “I see life through a different lens than many people. @DawnitaFogleman #imperfectmom”]
You see at one point, I was that new life. I was the accident, the mistake, the burden, the inconvenience…
- I was healthy, while a wanted child was not.
- I was sweet and compliant, while a planned child was not.
- I chose Jesus, while a child raised in the church turned away from Him.
- I quit drinking and smoking, while their child is an addict.
- I have a committed marriage, while their child is divorced.
- I have respectful children, while theirs are out of control.
I’ve made some good decisions in my life. I’ve made some really bad mistakes too. What this person didn’t see, didn’t know, didn’t understand, and didn’t really care about is:
1. My health is illusive. People don’t see my health struggles and I’m not a complainer so they assume I bask in total and complete health.
My blood sugar is on the low end of normal except when it bottoms out completely and I pass out. I get motion sick very, very easily and it is worse the older I get. I have almost constant pain. I have to pace myself.
2. I may have been a quiet child, but in my heart I rebelled as much as any other.
I made some awful mistakes at a very young age that I am still paying consequences for.
3. Choosing Jesus for me was a survival mechanism.
I was afraid I’d die young and wanted the assurance of going to heaven. Few people think like that. I’m an odd cookie. That fear though didn’t develop a real relationship with Him until I was older and I’ve struggled with my faith.
4. I saw the addiction in my family and was afraid of carrying on the curse.
Fear again. I knew I was susceptible and vulnerable. Again, my health was an issue. I have no doubt I would have died earlier like other friends and family members from either overdose or depression induced suicide. I’ve struggled with depression for many years and have come to realize many are self-medicating, trying to pull themselves out of the darkness. I grieve for their struggle and pray for them.
5. I never thought I’d marry.
I didn’t want the relationships I saw around me. When I made that commitment, I meant for better or worse. I KNEW how bad things can get and made up my mind to stick with it no matter what. We’ve had some rocky times. I didn’t stay because it was easy, I stay because I’m too stubborn to give up.
6. I yelled at my children, especially in those first years of motherhood.
I had no idea what I was doing and thought if I spoke louder, they would listen better. It was a bad mistake. I’ve since apologized, asked forgiveness, and seldom yell at all any more. Though I’ve realized the slightest change in tone or volume means “yelling” to children. (And hubby.) Our children’s behavior is a result of my consistency, their father’s good example, and God’s blessings.
I still don’t understand how someone could accuse me of being perfect.
My imperfections stare me in the face every single day. I know where I came from and the struggles I have. You know what? I’ve come to terms with it. God says in His word for us to “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” in Matthew 5:48. That seems like an impossible task, doesn’t it? He gave the same command to Moses in Genesis 6:9 and to Abram in Genesis 17:1 and were they what we’d call “perfect?” Definitely not. They were admirable, but not perfect.
[Tweet “My imperfections stare me in the face every single day. @DawnitaFogleman #imperfectmom”]
Deuteronomy 18:13 says it well “Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.” Be perfect WITH Him. Our perfection is in our growing relationship. Our perfection is when we allow His strength to work through our weaknesses. When we are nurturing our relationship with HIM, we are imperfectly perfect in HIS perfection.
[Tweet “Our perfection is when we allow His strength to work through our weaknesses.”]
Dawnita Fogleman is a fifth generation Oklahoma Panhandle Pioneer. She remembers only ever wanting to be a scientist when she grew up. While she has decided to never grow up, she researches and experiments with her family. Dawnita helps the love of her life manage the family business, small farm, and six amazing, exclusively homeschooled blessings. The oldest two are graduated and starting their own businesses. “Sometimes I struggle with carrying Bible, coffee, sewing basket, and feed bucket all at the same time so I commit the Bible to my heart, sip my coffee fast, sew every chance I get, delegate chores, and disciple the children along the way.” On the Fogleman Funny Farm every day is a surprise! She blogs about homeschooling, homemaking, and homesteading at PrairieDustTrail.com and she is author of Star Chronicles: A Bible Based Study of the Stars. Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter or Instagram!
[x_callout type=”center” title=”Don’t forget to ” message=” check out all of the posts in the ” button_text=”Encouragement for Imperfect Moms Series!” button_icon=”heart” href=”https://www.busybeingblessed.net/series/imperfectmoms/” target=”blank”]
LOVE your post! People have accused me of having a perfect life or being perfect. So far from it. Look at my heart, not the outward appearance, I tell them. Keep writing… 🙂
Thanks Susie. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone. This whole series has been such a blessing.